Anonymous asked: this is going to be long (at least, it needs a lot of explaining):

I'm gay and this year I went to a different school. I was mostly homophobic of myself, more than others. I was fine with other people being gay, but I hated being gay myself. Halfway through the year, basically the cutest guy in our class (there's only 30 of us in our grade, small school) started acting weird with me. He did things like hugging me in his underwear in the changeroom and other stuff. Later on in the middle of the year, he sort of ran his hand up my ass. It wasn't light. He did it pretty forcibly. This made me really self conscious and irritated, as I thought he was only teasing me. I basically started hating him and further burying my feelings for him (as I was still attracted to him).

Later on in the year (about 3 thirds through) I finally got out of my depression and I was ready to take on new chances. I tried making more friends and being more open with myself as a person. This also meant accepting my sexuality. I decided to become friendly with the guy I liked again, especially after finding out that only a year ago his father left his family to another state with a new woman. I felt like there was more to him that met the eye.

After being friendly with him, the rest of the year passed by. Til the end of the year, things happened like him grabbing my ass quite a few times, asking for piggy back rides often, him rubbing my chest, leaning in close to him while on bus rides (and him likewise), lots of hugs, him playing with my hair, him sitting on my lap and various other things. At this point, you'd think he was clearly gay. So did I. Especially after he got really mad/upset when he saw me flirting with my friends (who were girls, who know I'm gay), and when he got really mad when someone wrote in his agenda "(His Name) loves (My Name)" as a joke.

Well apparently this wasn't the case. At the end of the year, I kept telling him "I have something to tell you." He was getting anxious (but this was hard for me to say) and he started saying things like, "I won't tell anyone", "I won't judge you" and "we can go somewhere private if you want". I finally told him in the middle of a field. He didn't really say anything when I told him that I really liked him, but he smiled. After I told him I liked him, a group of guys came over so I left immediately.

He acted nice for the next few days and finally the last days of school passed. I was so confused. Did he want anything from me or not? Then on Friday, I found out that on the day I told him I was gay, he uninvited me to his birthday party. I was shocked.

I sort of moved on from then, but I can't help but still feel like he was gay. Later on I heard that he told a guy that I was gay, but that he didn't believe it when I told him I liked him. He thought that I did it as part of a game, or to mock him. I couldn't believe it.

The only thing that makes sense to me is that because his dad abandoned him recently, he has trust issues and he can't trust me at all.
The other possibility is that he's really, really closeted.
And the other possibility is that he can't believe he did all those things with me.

I know that I should get over him and I shouldn't cry over him, but I just can't move on. What do you think about him? Do you think he's gay? Should I move on?

(My only plans so far are to ask him out next wednesday (that's when I see him again) so that I can get a clear answer on whether he's gay or not.)

he sounds like he is gay, and i would still continue with your plans. talk to him and find out

Anonymous asked: I have three friends, and I'm not allowed to see any of them. Two of them are my bestfriends and one is my boyfriend. My parents hate all three of them and I have no friends to talk to, I can only talk to mine when they're occasionally on AIM. I mean, what should I do? I've cried in front of my parents because they won't let me see them, should I try to make friends online? I really miss them and I hate being by myself all the time. I just.. I don't know what to do anymore.

well why cant ur parents let you see them. come to an agreement with them

Anonymous asked: Hey Rachel. So I'm about to start high school. I know you went to a Catholic school so it may have been different than a regular high school. But how was it? Being a freshman and all. And how high school is in general.

i hate high school. im going to be honest, it is hell. i went to public school before, so i know how a public high school runs. 

the whole thing as to the academics is perfectly fine, it’s easy. school is easy. but the environment and the people just bother me. once you find a group of friends, stay with them for as long as you can. create a separate group of friends from that just in case things fall thru from your main group of friends

that comes in handy

i didnt take that precaution and now im alone :-)))

Anonymous asked: so today i was hanging out with my exboyfriend that i still have some feelings for. i was awkwardly looking around and he put his arm around me and said whats wrong. FML. there were so many things i wanted to say at that point. but i couldn't cause i can't tell hom how i feel.

he could just either be messing around or mean serious business. try talking to him more

Anonymous asked: I'm scared to fall in love

i can see how, because love is painful. it’s a horrible thing. for some people it’s a great thing, because they are being loved by someone else. but it’s painful because the whole thing is uncertain. you dont know if they love you, you dont know how they feel exactly, you don’t know why they feel the way they feel, when they hurt you it hurts a lot. 

but do not be afraid. when you do fall in love don’t repress it. let it happen. dont force anything out of love because it will come back to bite you

Anonymous asked: i dont know why, but i feel incredibly jealous when ever i see anyone that looks happy and that looks like they have friends. all i want is for someone to like me, and want to be my friend. i do have some friends, but they never talk to me, i feel, except during times of obligation. idk i just am spiraling back into my depression, which pulls me more away from others. i cant ever express how i feel, because i cant pinpoint what bothers me. im so frustrated and idk what to do. im sorry, i dont even know if im asking for advice, i just felt llike letting something out.

ugh i am in the same spot as you

vent all you want, but dont worry. change will come, it sometimes takes a while, but it will come

Anonymous asked: There is this guy, and I really like him, and I'm trying not to sound cheesy and generic but I really really like him,and it seems like he likes me too. Like he gives me special attention, and is nicer and more open with me than with other girls, but lately hes been ignoring me, and it seems like hes mad all the time. I don't think I've done anything to hurt his feelings, but I don't know what to do because hes older than me and I'd feel like a little kid asking him what wrong, but I don't want him to be mad forever. I'm not even sure its me hes mad at. Ugh, I don't even know what I'm asking you to help me with, I just want to make him feel better and I don't know what to do, please help me.

just try talking to him. you’ll never figure it out if you dont ask. if he does like u he will tell you

Anonymous asked: I feel like I'm not normal.
I don't like relationships. It feels so vulnerable, and there's so much pressure, I don't see why anyone would. And all these really nice guys end up talking to me and I don't feel anything for them. I mean, I've been in love before, but I screwed it up. And now everyone else seems annoying because I don't want to be with anyone.
Does that make sense?
I can't find anyone who I have an honest to god connection with, and guys just seem to be unintelligent and a responsibility I'd rather not have.
Do have any idea why I feel like this?
I had to get a second opinion.

it makes plenty of sense. i feel the exact same way

but it’s hard because at times you do get lonely and you want someone with you, but they wont meet those “standards” you placed them at. and it’s okay. a guy will come around that you will like. it may not be so soon, but try giving people chances ya know

Anonymous asked: I hate being short, 4'11" & 18 years old. There's something that will make me taller and it involves breaking one's legs so that they'll become longer.

.___. it's starting to look very appealing, should I do it?

wearing certain clothes makes you look taller. try long pants that barely cover your feet, that makes you look slim and tall. you can find other stuff online such as clothes guides to help you

Anonymous asked: Hi Rachel! I was looking for some advice, and who else to get it from none other than an amazing person like you!
So, I really really love this girl, with all my heart, but she doesn't love me back, and there is no way that I'll ever be with her, but I still love her. And then theres this other girl who really really likes me, and wants to go out with me, but I don't feel I can be with her knowing I still love the other girl, even though there is no chance I will be with her. What do I do? I feel like I'll use the other girl to replace the girl I really love, but if I say no to the other girl, she'll be heart broken. What do I do?

let the girl you like know that you like her, and if she doesnt feel that way, then give this other girl a chance. dont hurt her. but keep the girl you love close to you